28 de novembro de 2008

PORQUE AMANHÃ É SABADO

Conta a lenda (e é bom acreditar pra não levar castigo!) que vim do barro. Aliás, do pó. Há quarenta e seis anos eu era pó. Pra ser mais exato grãos, um micro e outro maiorzinho. Um espermatozóide de um lado, um óvulo do outro. Esses eram os pós de minha anterior composição. Som e silêncio. Sombra e luz. Juntaram-se para formar esta 'obra'. Quiçá eu volte ao pó daqui mais quarenta e seis. Desta vez para ser pó de verdade, matéria transformada, energia dissipada e convertida. Noventa e dois sem Alzheimer nem Parkinson, andando sozinho e comendo com as próprias mãos. Ah, e tomando banho e fazendo outras coisas mais íntimas sozinho. Eis um grande prêmio. Maior que qualquer fórmula um. Desde uns quinze pra dezesseis eu desencaramujei. Resolvi me dar ao mundo e desde então tenho sido um poço de aperreios. Resolvi trocar um açude de águas mansas e uma leve ondazinha que batia no paredão para ser mar revolto. A vida me tem dado mais alegrias que dissabores. E pra ser sincero, vez por outra acho que sou merecedor. Noutras já penso que tenho mais do que preciso. Cresci assim, sem grandes ambições a não ser ganhar o mundo. E venho fazendo um pouco isso mesmo. Descubro sempre que edifiquei amizades sólidas como uma obra de Niemeyer. Eternas... enquanto duremos. Resolvi, assim, ser uma espécie de danação louca, mas sempre aparentemente contida. Não que tente disfarçar minha potencialidade bélica. Não sei não, viu! Nunca fui explosão de sentimentos expostos, cacos pra todos os lados, mas, por dentro, confesso, eterno vulcão. Se me fosse conduzir pelas paixões já estaria pra lá de não sei onde, pois apesar dessa atitude antiútero, anticaramujo, sou tomado por alguém muito contido. Dizem que até frio. Logo eu! Não sei porque cargas d'água resolvi escrever isto. Talvez porque amanhã é sábado.

72 comentários:

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Que belo auto-retrato! Gosto desses mares revoltos aparentemente contidos e desse jeitão de cuidar do mundo todo de uma vez só. Tu és um cabra danado e eu sou tua fã número 1. Xêro no ôi.

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(...) Ultimamente dei de guardar coisas estranhas e pouco usuais. Ando querendo guardar sorrisos, palavras, sons, melodias quase imperceptíveis a ouvidos desatentos; ando memorizando beijos e seu sabor de saliva alheia; ando registrando toques sutis de pele, pontas de dedos; ando redescobrindo aromas de pós-infância, mormaço caririzeiro, orvalho, chuva noturna...

Rangel, não sei... uma pessoa que se expressa dessa forma, que demonstra sensibilidade , humildade, respeito, afeto com os seus, tudo isso revertido nas nitidas palavras, poderá ser chamado de “contido”?
Não sei !
Uma pessoa que convive muito bem com a nostalgia, que faz dela momentos de suaves e bem vindas lembranças, que faz da sexta um prenuncio para o sábado, fato este para ser comemorado.
Uma pessoa que do caminhar faz uma consagração, pelo simples fato de sentir o cheiro da algaroba que o transporta para o seu lado criança.
Uma pessoa que se orgulha das suas raízes, que é fincada na sua alma.
Uma pessoa que ao falar do filho se emociona e transmite uma alegria de tê-lo em sua vida e que ao falar de “seu Tonito”, imaginamos talvez,uma lágrima de saudade por ter tido um pai e também por ser pai ( ...o pai-durão, o pai presente, o pai distante, o pai preocupado, o pai cuidadoso, o pai chato, o pai complacente, o pai taciturno, o pai brincalhão, o pai flexível, o pai chorão sentimentalóide, o pai ranzinza, o pai mão aberta, o pai que não sou, mas que gostaria de ser pra eles).
Uma pessoa que não tem receio e tão pouco envergonha-se de confessar para quem quiser ler que a violência o incomoda, o preocupa, lhe remete ao medo.
Uma pessoa que constrói essa frase “Crio um mundo e o trago pra junto de mim.”.
Não sei!

Acho que não sei mesmo o que é um homem, na sua mais plena saudação do seu próprio EU... eternizado em ternas , emocionadas e reflexivas palavras aqui mesmo, neste blog.
Não sei!


Um abraço,

Débhora Melo.

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Jr,
Resolvi comentar hoje teus escritos que li ainda na sexta, mas gostei tanto do que Aninha e Debhora escreveram que, apesar de 'lugar comum', gostaria de dizer que faço minhas as palavras de ambas. Acrescento apenas que é um prazer imenso ser sua conterrânea de Juazeirinho, de também ter sentido o cheiro daquelas algarobas e de ter feito muitas 'estripulias' naquele parquinho(com a sorte de não ter 'rasgado nenhum dedo). Agradeço mesmo a possibilidade que vc tem nos dado, através do seu blog, de resgatar tantas memórias.
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